


it is the only thing that makes us feel alive.

by kaywasnotfound



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Photograph by Ed Sheeran, angsty fic, based off of a song, inspired by qekyo, no graphic depictions of violence of any kind, not major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:54:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaywasnotfound/pseuds/kaywasnotfound
Summary: (title and story based off of photograph by ed sheeran)george spends his nights thinking about the worst but hoping for the best.ordream gets drafted to fight in a war; george waits for him to come home.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	it is the only thing that makes us feel alive.

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by qekyo's story, dear dream; you should really check it out if you want to, it's so well written and honestly amazing! :))
> 
> have fun reading; i hope you enjoy!

_loving can hurt_

_loving can hurt sometimes_

_but it's the only thing that i know_

"dream.. you can't be serious, can you?" george couldn't believe it as he stared into his lover's eyes, wondering if he was just joking or telling the truth. his thoughts are answered when dream gently cups george's cheek, running a thumb over his cheekbone. he smiles as george leans into the gentle touch, though the latter continues to search his lover's eyes for any sort of a joking glint within them.

when he finds nothing but seriousness, he lets out a shaky breath that he didn't remember holding in.

"i'm sorry.." dream whispers. george bites his lip as he looks away, almost drawing blood from how hard he bites down. he promises himself he won't cry, right at that moment... but that fails as he feels a tear slowly glide down his cheek and gently drop from his chin, landing just near his and dream's feet. "george, look at me.. please?" dream whispers. his heart aches gently as he could see george hesitate slightly at first, but then he looks back into dream's eyes again, and he lets out yet another shaky breath. "you know i've seen you cry before, right?" dream lets out a soft chuckle, not as if to make fun of george in anyway, though it was a rather lighthearted chuckle to hopefully lighten the mood, at least a little bit. george nods and smiles slightly, sadly. he doesn't speak in fear of his voice cracking, though when he clears his throat and it cracks anyway as he lets out a soft, "i know.." in response, he wasn't necessarily surprised.

_and when it gets hard_

_you know it can get hard sometimes_

**_it is the only thing that makes us feel alive._ **

"i can't believe you're leaving.." george whispers as he and dream lay in bed that same night, hours later after dream had gotten the phone call. he was to be drafted to fight in the war, and everyone who was going had to leave early the next morning. "i know.. me neither," dream sighs softly. george looks behind himself, over his shoulder, and stares into dream's eyes; "i'm gonna miss you so much.." he whispers as he turns over in his arms, gently cupping his cheek. dream nuzzles gently into the touch, nodding. "i know.. i'll miss you too, so much. but it's only 21 months..." dream whispers. george nods, "i know.. but that's still a while." dream nods as well; "i know. but.. _i'll be home before you know it_."

_we keep this love in a photograph_

_we made these memories for ourselves_

george remembers the next morning, he woke up as he heard gentle shuffling around the room. he lets his eyes flutter open, and he yawns, stretching his arms out. "hey.." he hears dream whisper to him, "it's early, love, you should go back to sleep.. i'm just getting ready, i don't have to leave for another.." he navigates his eyes to the digital clock on the bedside table, the numbers staring angrily back at him in bright red as they read, **02:45**. "..another 2 and a half hours," he finishes as he looks back at george. "i know.. but, i don't wanna wake up and you're gone.." george whispers. the younger walks over to the bed and sits next to george, resting a hand on his shoulder and gently caressing it; "i'll never leave to go anywhere without telling you first, no matter where," dream whispers. george smiles, sleepily but genuinely at that. dream leans down and presses a gentle kiss to his lips, "remember," he whispers just after he pulls away, "we have many photos of us framed here, and you know our friends have photos of all of us together as well." he smiles. "i know," george whispers.

_where our eyes are never closing_

george remembers hearing dream say goodbye as he gets onto the train. his fingers gently ghost over his own lips as he remembers dream's kiss. obviously dream had kissed him before, but.. this time, it just felt different to him. it wasn't any regular kiss - it was an _i love you_ and _i'll miss you_ kiss, but along with that, it was a _**goodbye**_ kiss. and he didn't want dream to go.

_hearts are never broken_

_time's forever frozen, still.._

dream waves to george one last time as the train whistle blows loudly and the train slowly but surely starts to move, bringing everyone along as it heads to its new destination where they'd train and get ready for the war. dream would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. george would be lying as well.

_so you can keep me_

_inside the pocket of your ripped jeans_

george raises a brow as he feels something slightly crumpled up in his pocket; he reaches in, careful not to crumple it even more as he gently pulls it out, ripping the corner slightly. "dammit.." he mumbles. he's more gentle as he unravels it now, brows furrowed as he tries to make out what it was before he opened it. but his eyes widen once he sees what it is, opening it all the way; he would've never expected to find the picture that sapnap had taken that one night at his house. dream and george were both standing on top of the dining room table, making sure to be cautious so that neither of them fell, but george remembers the stiches dream had to get on his forehead because he fell anyway. before that, they were both dancing to the music sapnap had playing throughout the house. they were singing into the beer bottles that they held tightly in their hands - that's how dream had gotten the stiches, he remembers now. the glass bottle broke when dream had fallen down. but he was okay regardless, the scar was almost completely healed by now. "how was that already 2 years ago..?" george mumbles.

_holding me close until our eyes meet_

_you won't ever be alone_

_wait for me to come home._

he wondered if dream remembered the night they first confessed their feelings to each other. it was at george's house when they had gone back after a party at sapnap's - a different time from when dream fell from the table since he had to get rushed to the hospital immediately after that - and dream had suggested watching a movie together, leaving sapnap alone for the night since he'd fallen asleep on his couch just before dream and george had left anyway. they decided to listen to music instead of watching a movie, and they had a little dance party together since they knew they couldn't wake anyone else up since the only other one there was george's cat, who paid both of them no mind and just stayed in george's room the whole time. eventually a slow song - photograph by ed sheeran, to be exact - came on. dream held out his hand. george smiled, blushed - but he took it regardless. his eyes widen at the sudden movement as dream pulls him closer and rests his hands on his waist, but george doesn't hesitate to smile immediately and wrap his arms around dream's neck. he lets dream sway them gently, george moving a bit closer so that he was properly hugging dream now as he rests his head against his shoulder. "hey george..?" he hears dream whisper. george hums as he pulls away slightly and looks up into dream's eyes. "i.. i think i'm in love with you.." dream whispers, "no, wait - i _know_ i'm in love with you," he confesses. george stares blankly for just a second before he smiles, and he blushes once again as he whispers, "i'm in love with you too." dream holds him closer now, and george leans up slightly to whisper in his ear; "live with me," he whispers, "i know you feel a bit alone back at home with it being only you and patches, but.. here, you won't ever be alone," he whispers. dream smiles brightly - it was a bit sudden, but he didn't object in the slightest, wanting the exact same thing that george did. "i'll go and pack tomorrow morning... then you can wait for me to come _home_ ," he whispers.

_loving can heal, loving can mend your soul_

_and it's the only thing that i know_

george sighs heavily as he wakes up again. it'd already been a week since dream had left, but he raises a brow as he hears a knock at his door. "who is that at this hour.." he mumbles, _this hour_ being 2pm so it was likely that it was the mailman coming to deliver something. george rubs his eyes as he swings his legs over the bed and stands, walking over to his door and unlocking the top and bottom locks before pulling the door open - and as he slightly expected, the mailman stood there with a package, a smile, surprisingly (a few of the other deliveries consisted of people who hated their jobs and wanted nothing to do with anyone around them), and the oh so familiar device that indicated george had to sign for the package. "hello," he puts on a tired yet still genuine smile so that he didn't seem rude despite being as tired as he was, even at 2pm; "hi there. sign here, please," the mailman says. george takes the device, signs for the package, and he and the man exchange each others belongings, george getting his package and said mailman getting his device back. "have a nice afternoon," he says. "you too," george says through a small yawn as he closes the door behind himself, locking it back up and taking the package into his kitchen, making sure to be careful as he sits it on his counter and cuts it open with a knife. his eyes widen as he opens it up, having just cut the tape beforehand, and tears almost immediately cloud his vision as he stares down at the pictures that were in the box, there being about ten of them with a letter and another box near them all. he picks up the box first, grabbing the letter and the pictures next, and he smiles as he immediately knew they were all from dream. he reads the letter first as he opens it up.

_i swear it will get easier_

_remember that with every piece of ya_

_"hey, my love. it'll probably be a week or two that i've been gone once you see this, but i want you to know that i haven't gone a single day without thinking of you within these 7 days. it's only been 7, but it already feels lilke forever. i guess that's what happens when you go away from someone and you know you'll be gone for longer than you honestly should. but, i've already been doing good with training; we got some sleep the first night and started lightly on the first day, it's getting a bit harder as we go along but we're all good. there's these two other people i've already become friends with, their names are.. skeppy and bad, i think. well, those are their **nick** names, i should say, but i want to respect them both, even within this letter. they're funny, skeppy's always annoying bad but they don't ever stop talking, only jokingly. you'd like them both, i think. they're nice._

_i miss you, george. i know it hasn't been that long just yet, but i miss you. i'll be home before you know it, okay? open the box now that you've read this letter, and write back to me if you can; i'll be reading anything i get. all yours,_

_dream"_

he finishes off the letter with a small heart, slightly scribbled but still visible next to his signature, and george smiles at that. he folds up the letter and picks up the box next, opening that after putting the letter down on the counter beside the bigger box. once the smaller box was opened, george almost dropped it as one of his hands fly up to his mouth to cover it, and more tears gently cloud his vision, much more than before as he looks at the small note inside the box's lid; _"promise to keep me near?"_ it read. _it was a promise ring_. george takes it out of its box and slides it on his finger, smiling brightly. "i'll treasure it forever, love.." he whispers to no one.

_and it's the only thing to take with us when we die._

///

**(skipping past some of it)**

///

_and if you hurt me_

_well that's okay, baby, only words bleed_

george remembers the first time he and dream got into a fight. he remembers the, "what the fuck do you _mean_?! you didn't even push him away, george, he was all over you and you didn't even try!" he remembers the, "yes, i _did_! i couldn't get him away on my own so i was trying to get you to help me, i was calling you and everything, but you were too drunk and too busy with _everyone else_!" he remembers the grunt that came from dream as he lost it and just shoved george, resulting in the latter falling onto the floor beneath them both, coming dangerously close to hitting his head on the table that was near the front door. he remembers dream almost immediately yelling, " _NO!"_ as he caught george just in time for him to not hit his head on anything, even the floor, despite him falling. "george- love, i'm _so_ sorry, i- i don't know what just came over me, i was so stupid to do that to you.." george shakes his head a bit as he sniffles gently, staring into dream's eyes: "it's okay.. i know you'll never do it again. words hurt worse than actions, baby," george clears his throat gently, and dream nods, "you're right, but it was still so stupid... i _promise_ you i'll never do that again."

_inside these pages, you just hold me_

_i won't ever let you go_

_wait for me to come home_

dream knew that george was telling the truth when he told him that he wouldn't ever let go. "photos will never change, no matter how much life does," he remembers george saying. dream nodded and smiled the first time he heard it; "you're right, george.. we'll never change either though, right..?" he whispers. george shakes his head, "no, love.. _never_."

_oh you can fit me inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen_

_next to your heartbeat where i should be_

_keep it deep within your soul_

george clutches the locket that he'd been given to by his family when he was 16. he'd put a small picture of dream inside it, just a picture of dream alone, and he knew dream had a matching one with george inside it. he hoped it hadn't been lost somehow. he kept it on at almost all times, except when he slept so he wouldn't get tangled up in it, but any other time, it was usually hidden beneath his shirt so it wouldn't get caught on anything if he happened to lean down for something. he remembers breaking it one night on accident because he'd forgotten to take it off, and he cried the next morning. the tears subsided almost as quickly as they'd come around once dream promised to take him to get it fixed that same day after they went and got breakfast that morning. he kept the locket and the picture deep within his soul as he waited patiently for it to be fixed. and dream stood by him as they watched the jeweler fix it, and george smiled at that, holding dream's hand, dream squeezing his back. he loved that dream had kept his promise.

_and when i'm away_

george clutches the locket even harder, even closer to him as he stands on the platform at the train station, waiting patiently for the train to come in and for dream to finally walk off of it, for the 21 months to finally be up, for _his_ dream to finally be back home.

_i will remember how you kissed me_

_under the lamppost back on sixth street_

he remembers the first time they kissed, that same night before dream had gone back into his house - that same night that he was to pack the next morning to go and move in with george for the first time. he wondered if dream remembered how they held each other under the lamppost on 6th street, how love danced within both of their eyes as they leaned in and pressed their lips together under the light for the first time. it was a bit dangerous to just be standing there, but they both knew that as long as they had each other, they'd both be okay.

_hearing you whisper through the phone_...

george remembers the last phonecall he got from dream - it was just yesterday, before they had to fight in just one more war. "i miss you so much, my love.." dream whispers. "i miss you too, please be safe.. come home soon?" george asks, and he couldn't see it, but he could just feel dream's smile, being able to hear it in his voice as he whispered, "remember what i said to you that night? when we first confessed?"

"i do remember," george smiles.

_"wait for me to come home."_

"george davidson?" george looks up and raises a brow as he hears his name being called. he looks in front of him, having been staring intently down at the picture within his locket beforehand, and he closes the locket as he looks up at a man. he remembers seeing him in the pictures dream had sent him, it was.. dream's sergeant? why had he come here, but not dream? "yes, sir..?" he hums, it not clicking within him until the sergeant spoke up once again, handing him another letter than simply said, _to george_. "i'm sorry," the man whispers, and george felt his whole world crumble and break right then and there, along with his heart.

_my love_ , the note read, _this may be the last time i am writing to you. i just got word that the enemy base is planning a horrid attack on us any moment now, and i don't know how much longer we all have left, but we're all holding out until our sergeant comes back. he is currently gone to get supplies to help a wounded soldier who cannot be moved, otherwise he'd be in the medical center and sergeant smith would be here with us right now. but for now, we're all waiting until he can make his way back. if this letter gets to you before i do, or if it does when i don't, please never forget that i love you so much, i never stopped loving you since day one and i never will. if this has to happen in a way that i cannot come back, i'll miss you with all my heart, george. my everything, my love.. keep your locket and your promise ring close to you, okay?_

_your beloved,_

he never finished the letter. but the only thing that did finish it, was a singular tear from george's eyes that dropped onto the paper below.

it smudged the ink, therefore deemed unreadable.

_and george cried even harder_.


End file.
